The weight of your words, the weight of your actions.

In so many different areas of life, be it work, relationships with lovers, with friends or family, even with ourselves, does anybody ever really put their money where their mouths are?

People like to talk big about various things around them.
Reading an article in the newspapers about a young girl that was raped, I see people saying "Oh, that's so sad. How can people do that, poor girl. Blah, blah, blah."

Or lovers that say "Baby, I love you so much. You mean the world to me. Blah, blah, blah."

Or at work where you are told, "You are such a good worker, you will be rewarded with a raise. We appreciate you. Blah, blah, blah" and so it goes.

But does that person commenting on the newspaper article really support that person in their own family that has been abused. Or is the supposed "what will people think" comment and argument, more important. So many people feel so uncomfortable with the issue, they just refuse to deal with it or acknowledge it as being present in their immediate circle.

Or the lover that says all those wonderful loving words. Are they really showing what they say? The man that says his woman means everything to him. But when he is drinking with his buddies till all hours of the night and hung over all the next day when he had a date set-up with his lady or is supposed to help with the baby, does he really put her or his family first? Does that woman actually feel his words every single day through action?

Or the woman that says she loves and respects her man. When she is out flirting, or with her girlfriends gossiping about his mommy issues or about what he's like in bed, is she really respecting him and is that love honest?

When that boss makes all those promises and says how much he or she values the employee. But those promises are as wispy as the air they are spoken into and the compliments are used as a tool to keep that employee hoping year after year that one day those promises will be fulfilled. Is there really any future for either the employee or employer, or even that business? How can there possibly be growth for anyone?

Photo by darianpisano

Lies and insincere words have become so common place that we cannot see the wood for the trees. Actually, we cannot see either anymore. We don't want to. It has become so acceptable to be treated like crap, to just take the punches. Especially as women. It has always been expected that woman should just deal with it.

"Who are you to complain that you are not being appreciated at work. You fought to work alongside men and now you have it, so stop complaining."

"You wanted to be in a relationship, have that child, get married, you brought it on yourself. So deal with that man/woman that doesn't give you the time of day and that doesn't bring his/her side with the home or the kids. With a person that's abusive. You asked for it."

Or worse yet. "You wanted to wear that short skirt. You wanted to wear figure hugging clothes. Obviously that would attract a man, so don't come and complain about being raped. You asked for it."

Really??? Really??

Isn't it about time we stop just sitting back and muttering our opinions for the sake of conversation or for the sake of fitting in or whatever your reason may be.
Isn't it about time we stand up and demand better? Isn't it about time we stand up and start realizing our value and fighting for it. Isn't it about time to make those hard decisions, to cut those ties that are killing us slowly.

Why do we hurt each other so with lies and deceit? Do you not realize that when you hurt someone else, you are really hurting yourself too? We all contribute in our own small way to the fabric of life, to societal perceptions and norms, to how the community at large responds and takes action, or not.

When you are sitting with your colleagues or your group of friends or your family and you are having a conversation, your words have an impact on them and their ideas, and they will carry that forth to the people that they encounter and talk with. That contributes to the general perception.

When people use the word "rape" as part of a joke. When they say things like "That car is so sexy, I just want to rape it." Having a survivor (or victim) of abuse in the group or in that conversation . . . saying THAT, shows that person how little care or concern you have for those that have gone through it. It shows a complete lack of respect and consideration, not to mention education and decency to the value of being a human being. It's a slap in the face to someone that's dealing with it. Do you really wonder, with this (very common) way of communicating and thinking, why so few victims of abuse come forward?

Why is it that only a fraction of the cases of sexual abuse and sexual violence is reported? What about you? You may have been living with someone for years or known someone for years that has never told you that they were abused. How do you think you may have contributed to then staying silent?

But to do that and to really live it and be transformed by it. To make yourself open to a victim, to welcome those difficult truths. . . well, it takes some serious introspection. Can you do that? Are you ready? Are you willing to even try?

Put your money, your time, your heart and soul, where your mouth is!!