Just because you're doing something doesn't mean you're not doing nothing

Often I get these great ideas about things to do for myself. I think about things to do for myself because I realise that I have gotten so involved and consumed by my role as a business woman, as a mother, as a wife that somewhere along the line I forgot who I was. I lost track of myself not playing any role, but just being me. (which I will talk more about in a later post) So I think about it and come up with little things I can do that would make me happy and that has nothing to do with these parts I'm playing in the drama that is my life.

So, I think to myself that I love the natural world. I love plants and bugs etc and that the idea of growing a vegetable garden would be something I could really enjoy and get into. Not to mention it would be a great stress reliever and give me an opportunity to just be with myself. So I started researching it, signing up to newsletters and finding e-books and guides about vegetable gardening.

By doing this, I think to myself that I am now starting with this great new project. I am DOING something. Right? Wrong!

I have been "planning" this vegetable garden for a couple of months now, to the point that my deep freezer is almost completely full, not with food, but with "compost". Bit's of fruit and veggy peels, eggs shells, tea bags etc. for this garden I was supposedly doing. This too made me think and feel like I was DOING something.

In truth, I haven't even touched the ground in my yard, I haven't so much as picked up a hand trowel, much less something like a shovel or garden fork.

In fact, I've been procrastinating and using my "research" and "compost making" as a way of fooling myself into telling myself that I'm doing what I set out to do.
Now the research and compost collecting is still all good and well, but "planning" is not the same as "doing." I can plan everything around creating, developing and maintaining my vegetable garden. I can learn everything there is to know about vegetable gardening, but it all means absolutely nothing if I don't go out there and start physically working in the garden.

Often in life, we tend to do exactly this. We spend our time researching, planning, talking about and gathering information about something, deluding ourselves into truly believing that we are being productive and doing what we need to be doing, what we want to be doing. Then we wonder why we're not getting anywhere. Why hasn't my life changed or become better, why didn't I get the promotion, why didn't I get my business going.

We think that because we're doing all these things but we see no vegetable garden, it must be someone else's fault. There must be people stabbing me in the back,it's because I'm black/white/coloured whatever. It's because I'm a woman/man etc etc.

But ask yourself, are you REALLY getting up and doing what needs to be done. Are you actually out there in the garden, on hands and knees doing the work? Really, are you sure? Just because you're doing something doesn't mean you're not doing nothing. The question is, are you doing something of value, are you doing the real work that's required of you to make your dreams come true?